Just listen to what I'm saying...

Why is this happening to me?!
Why me?
Why can it be someone else?
Why do i feel guilty at something that I shouldn't be feeling guilty?
Why can I be more like the rest of my friends?
Why if don't exist in this world?
Am I not that lucky enough to be a lot more like my friends?
Am I not good enough to be happy...
Am I ever going to stop hurting people...
Can this ever stop from happening...
Can I NOT cry...
Can this... just stop. Just for a while...
Let me breath...
Let me catch my breath...
See where exactly I can stand, in people's life

I am so lost in the world where people talking, demanding, requesting a lot of stuff...
or was me? asking... demanding, requesting, and talking at the same time... about a lot of things.

pleasee pleasee pleaseeee


I just want to be at a place where I want to be in right now...
Not this... not right now... Not this place.
I don't know what I did wrong that I deserve this amount of pressure around me
Framing me...
pulling me in all different direction...
calling my name....
is this a punishment for loving a lot of people,
me wanting to be friends with everyone
to want a lot of things in life
to be happy?
to be too sad?
to feel want?
need?
seriously what do  you want me to do?
I wish people could hear what I am trying to tell them...
I am not asking for anything...
I just want it to be like... nothing is wrong. Just the little things that can happen, not like now.
nothing less nothing more...
without jealousy, without anger, curiosity, weak, being pressure, regrets, love, hate, hate....


I wish I could be strong enough to deal with everything...

UGHhhhh ~~~

My mo0d swing is all 0ver the plac3

I d0n't kn0w what I want s0metimes 

When I d0, s0mething anything at all just had t0 ruin it f0r me. 

I d0nt kn0w if I am the 0ne wh0 is c0mplaining, 

But I alwAys th0ught t0 my$elf, it c0uld've be3n w0rst. 

I am alwAys trying mY b3st at everything I wAnt 0r planning t0 d0.
I d0n't c0mplain if things d0n't g0 my wAy, 

S0metimes I jUst w0nder, what c0uld've been w0rst or h0w it be better. 

I Am l0st in my oWn mind,

I don't even know what I want anymore

Is it okay to be a little scared inside

People get tired after a while, 

You can't always expect them to be strong at everything 

You can't always run away from how feel

They'll ended up catching up with you that much sooner, 

You wish you could be stronger 

but you're not.

It's not fair to know that you're okay 

when I'm about to fall apart  

It's not fair it's always me who always go to you, 

its not fair 

it's just not...

I look at you 

you looked away 

It's like everything 

what we have 

is about to slip away 

I get tired chasing you 

You can't always expect me to stop you from building this wall from me 

because I'm get tired eventually 

I'm tired of running away 

from how I feel 

I'm tired of running to you 

I don't want to lose you

it scares me 

You're not helping me at all. 

I hate how you make me feel